When I started this blog back in February of 2019, my greatest hope is that it would help me sort out the new path I had embarked on. I had recently discovered Atheopaganism, which struck a chord with me, but my pagan background was lacking. I needed to figure things out. And I like figuring things out (research is my favorite) but this was a complicated thing, a thing that kept changing on me. Many of my original figuring-outs were already morphing before the blog had even occurred to me. Some were even morphing right back to a previous state.
I had so many notes, and links and books to read and process, and so many of them hung freely with the trappings of gods, goddesses, magic and woo that I found myself caught up in the necessity of it. My ideas of how I would approach this new path had landed squarely among the mythological. It seemed natural enough, I’ve a fondness for such things, and even a fascination for certain lore (don’t get me started on Janus, I’ll talk your ear off.)
I went so far as to figure out who would populate my personal pantheon. The notes expanded, I wrote long essays about why this goddess and not that god, and how metaphor and archetype were a good thing. Except, it didn’t feel like a good thing any more than sitting in a Christian church and singing about Jesus ever felt good to me.
It was a far more complicated a journey than I expected, and the blog was born from that realization. I needed a lens through which to focus my scattered wonderings and wanderings. I place to distill my ideas into something that felt right and could break the ennui that often keeps me from living up to my own expectations. I needed motivation and accountability to keep on track.
Writing for the blog helped me refine my ideas. I scrapped my pantheon idea and worked for a bit with the idea of the Sun, Moon, Earth, Cosmos as archetype, and then I scrapped that too. I wrote a fair amount of posts, or at least started them, but I wasn’t actually posting anything. The blog, became more for me, and not the public.
We’re about to get to the “oops” part…
In fact, I started the blog intending to make it public after I’d done a lot of the foundational work. I told a few of my friends that I was working on it, and let the knowledge of their knowledge be my accountability. I didn’t intend the blog to be live during this time, which I just now noticed.
Except somehow, at some unknown point I flipped the wrong switch and made it live. Um… oops?
Yes, live and utterly neglected. Live with placeholders, test posts, and half edited pages and over a year since I actually posted anything. Dozens of posts that were not quite finished, and dozens more that were half done all languishing on my laptop instead of making the blog look not quite so abandoned. But no, I not only slacked but I slacked publicly. How embarrassing.
But, such is life. It happens whether you’re invested in the process or not. Rather than set the whole thing to private again, though, I’m making a push to do the work I’ve put off. I’m sorting through my writing, editing, uploading, trying to catch up so that the live site is a reflection of my life as it is now, and as it has been over the course the last year and half. So…
Welcome to A Circle of Seasons! (again, but now for reals.)