When I started this blog I thought I would be sharing recipes more often. Food is central to my practice. It connects me to the seasons, to local culture, and to the the traditions of my family.

What I didn’t count on was how much more work recipe posts were going to be. I have to test the recipes, even proven recipes from my own files because I have a tendency to cook like grandmother taught me— where measurements are by handfuls and ingredients are by “what’s in the pantry”. I never make a dish the same way twice. I even muck about with baking recipes which are whole lot more finicky and prone to failure when it comes to subtractions and additions.

Then there’s all the pictures. Apparently, there’s way more that goes into food photography than you would think. Do you know how many recipes are sitting in my file half finished because I forgot to take pictures either during the preparation or after it was done? Like three, which doesn’t sound like much, but it’s more than the recipes that actually made it the blog so far.

Then if I remember to take them, I usually need to retake them when it turns out the lighting is bad, the props look awful, the colors are all wrong. Or whatever it is that makes a picture good, is just missing. I had visions of Gather Victoria and instead it all looked like a 1970’s laminated diner menu.

I could lower my expectations, and I think that’s definitely where I’m headed, at least for the time being. I need to figure out what I’m doing and find away to remind myself to take pictures when they need to be taken, and go through my things to find better ways of presenting that won’t clash with the food or my internal aesthetic of what I think the food posts should look like.

I also need to remind myself that I’m not trying to be a food blogger. Food as Praxis and as a means of celebration are the important things here, not perfection, and certainly not the self-criticism the task is currently inspiring.

It’s not news to me that I need to work on being less critical during the learning process. The problem is that I suffer from “taste gap”. It’s when you know enough to recognize quality, but not enough to create it yourself. It’s a difficult place to be as a creative. Ignorance is truly bliss and its responsible for a lot of really awful stuff self-published on the internet.

But, just call me Veruca Salt. I want it all, and I want it all (done perfectly) now. Instead, I’ll be focusing on other aspects of the blog while I figure out how to close the gap a little bit more on the recipe front.

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